Brief reviews of the films released in 2012, in no particular order.
Movies are rated as Terrible, Mediocre, Average, Good or Great.
Prometheus
This movie fluctuates wildly between being a fascinating movie where a group of scientists discover and explore the remnants of a long-abandoned alien planet looking for clues about the meaning of existence and an infuriating movie where theoretically-smart characters repeatedly do stupid things stupidly. The first half of the film is wall-to-wall greatness. Then the idiocy starts seeping into the characters' actions, and just keeps on building. The only consistently good element is Michael Fassbender's android character, who is either longing to be more human or just barely masking his utter contempt for humanity. Fassbender is great in the role, and keeps his character's motivations ambiguous (in a good way) for the entire film. Idris Elba is also solid as a blue-collar spaceship captain with all of the film's best lines. The talented Noomi Rapace does what she can as the film's lead, but the thankless way her role is written doesn't do her any favors. Charlize Theron is also in this, though her character has no impact on the plot whatsoever and only exists so Theron's name can show up on the movie's poster. The film is directed by Ridley Scott, so naturally it looks amazing (especially in 3D, as the man knows exactly how to utilize textures and depth of field). It's an ambitious science fiction film that trips over the stupidity of its characters halfway through, and never stops stumbling after that. Still, I prefer ambitious failures to movies that don't try at all.
Special Rating: Frustrating
21 Jump Street
I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. The writers acknowledge up front that the franchise reboot is unnecessary and just exists to make the studio extra money. Then they immediately start trying to upend as many of the original TV show's tropes as they can. Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum (who quietly had a revelatory acting year in 2012) have great comic chemistry together as partners who go undercover as high school students to investigate the appearance of a new street drug. There are some great running gags that illuminate the oft-discussed flaws of the original show (like Tatum instantly being called out for looking way too old, the lack of explosions during car crashes, and the one-dimensionality of Ice Cube's police boss character). It's certainly not a deep movie, but it is a consistently funny film.
Rating: Good
Butter
As an Iowan, I'm naturally sensitive to movies that take place in my homeland (since there are so few). For example, the moment that Jennifer Garner's character spoke in an "Iowan" accent, I wanted to shit in a box and mail it to both the director and the otherwise-seemingly-pleasant Mrs. Affleck. Dear Hollywood, IOWANS DO NOT HAVE AN ACCENT! Well, actually we do have an accent. It's called General American, and it's the most sought-after accent of broadcast television and film because of its lack of dialect. Go here and look at the map on the right detailing the regional home of the General American accent. Notice what state is right in the fucking middle!
Sorry about that, I tend to take these things personally. It would have been easier for me to overlook if the film had been any good, which it is not. Sure, Olivia Wilde is hilarious in a supporting role and Rob Corddry is kinda subdued and sweet as the dad to an adopted young girl hoping to win the butter sculpting competition at the Iowa State Fair, but those are small islands in a sea of mediocrity. A talented cast is mostly wasted. Garner is bad, Hugh Jackman is an embarrassment, Ty Burrell just plays a less funny version of his Modern Family character, and both Alicia Silverstone and Kristen Schaal are given nothing to do. The movie wastes every bit of potential it has, with the exception being Wilde's gleefully inappropriate scene-stealing supporting performance. That lady has an untapped comedic reservoir, Hollywood. Get on it.
Rating: Mediocre
Battleship
Uh...I saw Battleship, right? I mean, I'm pretty sure I did. I have vague memories of Liam Neeson portraying Liam Neeson In An Admiral's Uniform, a giant alien spaceship that apparently escaped from the Transformers franchise, and Rhianna "acting." Also I think there was a slow-motion walking shot of U.S. Navy veterans set to AC/DC. Yes, ok, now I'm sure I saw it. It's the one where John Carter is the bratty younger brother of the True Blood guy who is inexplicably dating a supermodel whom he wooed with a gas station burrito, right? Yeah, ok, I definitely saw it. It sucked.
Rating: Mediocre (and not Terrible only because Peter Berg remains a talented action director, even when he's directing shit)
Wrath of the Titans
I don't even know what to say here. Clash of the Titans was only slightly passable because the entire supporting cast just seemed to be enjoying the bad movie they were in, and that sense of fun translated into the film itself. The sequel doesn't have that, and so there is literally nothing of value left on the screen. A complete waste of time.
Rating Terrible
Chronicle
I saw a couple "found footage"-style movies this year that actually managed to do something interesting with the far-too-overused format. The first was Chronicle, a movie about three teenagers who find an object from space that gives them superpowers. That summary in no way does justice to the film, which is focused on the three characters learning to develop and control their powers. At first they are just having fun, but when one of the teens begins to uncork years of suppressed fear and anger, things turn serious. The first-person handheld-camera style of filming breaks from cliche when one character starts using his powers to levitate the camera, allowing for smooth steadicam-like shots without breaking the "found footage" style. Similarly, the exciting climax is a mix of first-person footage, professionally-shot news footage, and security footage, which livens things up and expands the scale of the movie. The film is an involving little superhero origin story with well-developed characters and enough creative action setpieces to appease the mainstream crowd.
Rating: Good
Magic Mike
Magic Mike is the Steven Soderbergh movie that is supposedly based on star Channing Tatum's real-life stint as a male stripper. And while that brief summary might immediately turn some people on or off, the actual movie is a pretty solid character piece where the stripping is the background, not the foreground. Tatum plays the title character, the star performer at Matthew McConaughey's male strip club with plans of moving on to better things. He takes a young Alex Pettyfer under his wing, introducing him to the exciting nightlife that male stripping brings. He also starts falling for Pettyfer's sister Cody Horn, despite having an ongoing casual relationship with Olivia Munn. The movie is at its best when focused on Tatum, who has the necessary experience to give his character a completely lived-in feel as well as an easy, charismatic chemistry with everyone else on the screen. Pettyfer is the polar opposite, a sub-par actor who feels completely miscast and who has chemistry with no one. The film gets wall-to-wall great performances from its cast, so Pettyfer's weak turn stands out like a sore thumb. Still, Tatum and McConaughey are capable of picking up the slack, so the final result is an entertaining look behind the scenes of a lifestyle many know about but are unfamiliar with.
Rating: Good
Safety Not Guaranteed
This indie drama is entertaining enough, though not necessarily worth the hype it got when it toured the festival circuit. Aubrey Plaza stars as an intern who goes along with journalist Jake Johnson (pretty much just playing a smugger version of his New Girl character) to do a report on a post in the Want ads requesting a companion to go back in time. They track down the poster, a guy played by Mark Duplass with just the right balance of kindness, sadness, paranoia and maybe-craziness to make the character seem sincere about his quest but without coming off as a dangerous lunatic. Plaza is chosen to pose as a responder to the ad, and the films hit the predictable beats of Plaza's character coming to care for Duplass, the inevitable reveals of Plaza's true identity and the hidden emotional agenda of Duplass, Plaza's plea for forgiveness and blah blah blah. There's also a side story of Johnson trying to reconnect with an old flame that is mostly a distraction. Plaza and Duplass make an endearing team and are a joy to watch, but the film is fairly formulaic and offers few surprises. Still, it's a pleasant watch.
Rating: Good
Salmon Fishing In The Yemen
Ewan McGregor plays a fisheries expert tasked by the British Press Secretary (a scene-stealing Kristin Scott Thomas) to help a wealthy sheikh introduce salmon fishing to Yemen, despite Yemen being, y'know, in the desert. McGregor obviously thinks the project is absurd, but is persuaded to help by the sincerity of both the sheikh and the sheikh's assistant, played by the always-charming Emily Blunt. McGregor and Blunt have easy chemistry, and Amr Waked gives the sheikh the right balance of benevolence and drive to really sell the idea that so many people would be willing to help him achieve what appears to be an impossible goal. The movie feels like something out of Old Hollywood, and I mean that in the best way possible. A cast of entirely likable people coming together in an exotic locale to achieve a seemingly impossible feat. That the film still manages a few plot surprises (though not the inevitable romantic pairing of McGregor and Blunt, whose chemistry together all but demands it from the very first frame they share) is but another testament to its quality.
Rating: Great
Side By Side
Side By Side appeals to a very specific niche of moviegoers: those obsessed with the technical aspects of filmmaking. I am part of that niche. Side By Side is amazing to me. Keanu Reeves (wow, didn't see that coming) interviews a staggering assortment of directors and cinematographers about the differences between physical and digital film, from both a filmmaking and an archival perspective. The discussions are in-depth and well-informed. Since the movie is spearheaded by industry veteran Reeves, the collection of interviewees is a who's-who of industry titans featuring Martin Scorsese, James Cameron, David Lynch, Steven Soderbergh, Danny Boyle, Robert Rodriguez, George Lucas, Lars von Trier and many, many others. Perhaps more impressive is that it even manages to get on-camera perspectives from notoriously interview-averse directors like Christopher Nolan and David Fincher. Again, many people will view this movie as a boring technical slog. But to a certain kind of movie geek, it's almost Biblical. I am happily that kind of geek.
Rating: Great (for some)
