Monday, June 30, 2008

Could Be A Good Idea, Probably Will Suck

Undoubtedly you have seen the ads for Get Smart's Bruce & Lloyd Out of Control, the direct-to-DVD Get Smart tie-in movie that features some of the theatrical film's minor characters in their own adventure. While I have no doubts that the movie will be atrocious, I am intrigued by the concept of near-simultaneous releases of major motion pictures and smaller films that tie-in to the larger story. Cartoons have been serving this function for a few years now with varying results (the really good Batman ones, the mixed-bag Animatrix, and the terrible The Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Fury), and mostly aimed at bridging the gap between sequels. But until now, live-action tie-in releases where extremely rare. If Bruce & Lloyd manages to make some cash, I can easily see this becoming part of the regular Hollywood business model. And while my first instinct is to be horrified, I can't help but think that this could be really great if put in the right hands.

I'm not delusional. I know that this type of treatment will only be given to the big-budget blockbuster releases, and we won't be seeing a No Country For Old Men spin-off showing the early career of Woody Harrelson's Carson Wells (I can always dream). But even then, there is potential. Imagine that The Bourne Ultimatum had a DVD tie-in that followed Julia Stiles after she had to go into hiding. Maybe we can get a glimpse at how Karen Allen spent the last 20 years while Indy was away. Or perhaps a 007 movie that followed M around for a day instead of Bond? I'm sure just a regular day at the office in M's shoes is probably interesting enough to warrant a $6 million budget.

These are my hopes, but they are sadly not my expectations. Rather, I fully believe we'll get a Mummy side story about how Brendan Fraser's kid uses an ancient scroll to stop the harassments of a school bully. Even if I give some creative credit to the studio system, I know the best we're likely to see is a 60-minute movie showing the amount of time and craftsmanship that the killer dedicates to making all those horrible devices in the Saw franchise (which I would kinda like to see, actually). I can always hope that some maverick filmmaker will see the artistic potential in this idea instead of just dollar signs. It's a foolish hope, But I still have it.

Black Water

After watching Rogue, I've been on a bit of a killer crocodile binge. Lake Placid 2 was unbelievably bad, and my next film on the list, Croc, doesn't look to be much better. But the little Aussie indie Black Water is pretty good. Probably better than Rogue, if only because Rogue gets a little dodgy at the end and Black Water's ending is more realistic. In fact, it's actually real.

Black Water is not technically a giant killer crocodile movie, but is instead a normal killer crocodile movie that is "Based on a True Story." A woman, her husband and her sister decide to take a guided fishing trip in the mangrove swamps of northern Australia while on vacation. They miss the main tour, but the assistant tour guide offers to take them out on his small fishing boat. After finding little success in the normal fishing spots, he takes them to a more remote area of the swamp. They unknowingly enter the territory of a crocodile, who rams the small boat and overturns it. The tourists scramble onto some of the trees growing out of the swamp, but the guide is dead (the movie doesn't make it clear if the guide was killed by the crocodile, or if he was struck by the overturning boat). The rest of the movie takes place in this location as the characters try to get to either the overturned boat, or to the pistol that is on the guide's corpse. Each requires them to get into the water, and the crocodile is still around.

Like Rogue, Black Water lets the crocodile act like a crocodile, concerned more with protecting its territory than with mindless slaughter. Unlike Rogue, the crocodile is not giant, just a regular ol' crocodile (which is still 12-14 feet long). In fact, the crocodile is barely seen. If a crocodile is hunting you, you're not going to see it. And that absence makes the suspense sequences in Black Water more credible. Maybe it's still there, or maybe it left to go do something else. Adding to the fear are the normal sounds of the swamp. Bubbles gurgle to the surface. Water swirls as something moves beneath. Small splashes are heard in every direction? The crocodile, or just fish and dragonflies? The film benefits greatly from its location shooting. During filming, a 14-foot crocodile attacked and made off with one of the cameras. Now that's location shooting. In fact, there is not a single artificial crocodile effect in the film. If there's a crocodile onscreen, it's real. That includes the shots that have humans and a croc in the same frame.

Black Water actually has more in common with Open Water than it does with Rogue or Lake Placid. It's about a group of humans who are stranded in nature and forced to confront the harsh reality that they are no longer the apex animal. I'm naturally predisposed to liking movies where humans have to face off against nature and fail miserably, so I walked away from Black Water very satisfied.

NOTE (and possible spoiler warning): Given that this is based on a true story as told by a witness, you know that at least one person will make it out alive. I give props to Black Water for never indicating which characters are doomed, laying the risks equally upon the whole cast and not bringing any one character to the fore.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Even More Catching Up

Yes, just a few more.


Cloverfield (A Revisit)
A ground-level view of a giant monster attack on New York City is a fantastic premise for a movie, and it mostly works in Cloverfield. The shaky-cam thing gets really annoying at times (which instilled a lot of hostility in me the first time I watched it), but is extremely effective in several scenes (the subway tunnel sequence in particular). The characters make the same dumb decisions that get made in every monster movie, but their fear and disbelief always seems real. It works well as a popcorn movie, and has several memorable action setpieces. And a special mention goes to Lizzy Caplan, who takes a minor role and upstages everyone with it.

Diary of the Dead
Diary of the Dead does the Cloverfield shtick, but with zombies instead of that weird Godzilla thing. And does it very poorly, I might add. George Romero has never cared much about characterization, focusing instead on the bigger themes. That approach has always worked for him in the past (even in Land of the Dead, a film that was mediocre for Romero but still better than most genre movies out there), but fails spectacularly in Diary of the Dead. Romero tries to make some statements about the media, but indestinguishable characters spell death for a movie that is shot in the first-person perspective. We have no interest in the people holding the camera, so we don't care what happens to them. At least the movie is mercifully short.

Strange Wilderness
I liked Grandma's Boy. Sue me. It was dumb humor, but it largely worked because it all felt so unforced. The cast was just so comfortable playing a group of underachieving stoners (gee, I wonder why), and the humor felt natural. Strange Wilderness tries to mine the same territory, but everything about this movie feels labored. Much of the Grandma's Boy cast returns, but without any of their humor. The bad jokes (and there are a LOT of them) don't just fall flat, they land with a deafening thud and are then kicked an additional 12 times. Being extremely generous, I'd estimate that only 1 out of every 9 jokes actually works. And that's only because Justin Long and Jonah Hill knock their roles out of the park. Steve Zahn does what he can in the lead role, but his efforts are not given any rewards by the script. Everyone else is a waste. Cameos by Harry Hamlin and Robert Patrick have the potential to be comedy classics, but end up just laying awkwardly lifeless on the screen (though Hamlin's death is funny...kinda). Here's the best way to describe the movie: it's the kind of film that features a man's penis getting stuck in the throat of a turkey and having to be removed in a very sensual way by a busty female nurse. Am I the only one smelling an Oscar?

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Playing Catch-Up (Reprise)

You didn't think I'd gone months having only watched 4 movies, did you?

Outpost
Surprisingly, I watched a 3rd decent horror flick this year. Ray Stevenson (Rome's awesome Titus Pullo, and the next Punisher) stars as the leader of a small mercenary group hired by a mysterious Englishman to serve as bodyguards on an expedition somewhere in Eastern Europe (which is the most specific the title card ever gets). Where are they headed? To a lost Nazi bunker, of course! Turns out the Nazi were big into conducting unethical experiments with human subjects (No! Really? The Nazis? I don't believe you). And because this is a horror film, there are other nasty surprises to be had. This is great B-movie fare, combining the best elements of Dog Soldiers and Event Horizon, but with Nazi pseudo-zombies. The characters are mostly one-dimensional, and everyone chews scenery, but the tone is kept creepy and the set design is a character of its own (very much like Session 9). And unlike other war-based horror movies (Deathwatch, The Bunker), this one pulls off its ending quite well.

Sharkwater
Sharkwater will probably be the most gorgeous film I see this year. Filmmaker Rob Stewart started as a professional underwater cameraman, so he knows how to capture the really great shots. And with Sharkwater, he uses those shots to bring light to a greatly overlooked problem: massive destruction of the shark population. Unregulated fishing is leading towards the possible extinction of sharks (the first time humans will have been responsible for the extinction of an apex predator). Even better than the beautiful cinematography is the ground-level view he brings. He collides with an illegal fishing boat, gets chased by gunships, is arrested, flees custody, and comes close to having his leg amputated. Exciting stuff for a documentary about big fish. The film's only real drawback is Stewart himself, whose passion for the subject is eclipsed only by his need to constantly make himself the main character. He's a buff, tanned surfer dude. And you can tell, because of the 20 or so shots of him walking around on the beach shirtless, staring meaningfully off into the horizon. When the camera is pointing the other way, the movie is great.

No End in Sight
This 2007 Oscar nominee for Best Documentary gives a fair, bi-partisan view of the Iraq war disaster (at this point, there really isn't any other word for it) and how it came to be. It doesn't set out to be an attack on the war, but the plain facts make it seem so. The filmmakers talk to the people that were there, from 20-something Army troops to former Secretary of State Richard Armitage. If I go into too much detail, I'll start ranting. Let me just say this: the person put in charge of running the traffic grid for all of Baghdad was a freshly-graduated Georgetown student with no traffic experience who didn't speak a word of Arabic. She was the daughter of a Bush campaign contributor. Ebert gave this 4 stars, and it deserved every one of them. It deserves every one of the many accolades it has earned. See this movie! It is on Netflix and can be viewed instantly. If I've made it sound like a finger-pointing, Michael Moore-esque film I assure you it is not.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Playing Catch-Up

So, I obviously haven't updated lately. I wish I had some worthy excuse, but the truth is that I have just been lazy. And I continue to be lazy, which is why I'm just going to write a few quick blurbs about the stuff I've watched lately.

The Signal
Every year I manage to find at least one great horror movie, and I can now check this year off the list. The Signal is far from flawless, but it has ambition, ideas, good performances, and does a fantastic job at hiding its small budget. The plot: Every TV, radio and phone begins broadcasting a chaotic signal. Anyone exposed to the signal for too long is suddenly filled with the urge to murder. Naturally, the world goes to Hell pretty quickly. The film is divided into three vignettes, which it calls "transmissions." The first transmission deals with Mya, who has been having an affair with Ben, arousing the suspicions of her husband Lewis. Mya's story takes us through the beginning of the outbreak, and is the fastest-paced of the three sections. The hilarious second act focuses on what can be considered either the greatest or worst New Year's party that has ever shown up on film, as Lewis tries to find Mya. Lewis' story is noteworthy because it establishes the POV of an infected person. In their mind the violence is completely rational. The final story follows Ben as he tries to find Mya before Lewis does. The movie's moral is pretty heavy-handed during the last stretch, but it has a clever climax (using a person's distorted perspective against them), and Ben is a great protagonist. Most of the reviews I've read claim that The Signal is destined to become a cult classic. It definitely deserves to be. The recently-released DVD features three additional "transmission" short films, and they show the outbreak from a few other perspectives (people working at a TV station, a man in a Best Buy-type of store, and a family on a road trip). Well worth a Netflix rental.

Rogue
Wow, two decent horror movies in the first six months of 2008? That's unprecedented. Before I say anything further, let me give this disclaimer: Rogue is a movie about a giant killer crocodile. As such, there's only so good a movie within the "giant killer animal" genre can ever get. Rogue is one of the better ones I've seen. The plot is nothing new, but the direction is solid, and the characters act like they actually have brains. Radha Mitchell operates a sight-seeing boat in Australia. Michael Vartan is a travel writer from Chicago who is doing a piece on the outback. While giving the tour, Mitchell sees an emergency flare and must respond. They find a sunken boat, and a croc that could kick the crap out of the ones in Lake Placid. The boat is run aground on a small island, and the rest of the movie involves the various schemes to traverse the distance between the island and the shore. A surprising amount of thought goes into their plans. I was reminded rather oddly of last summer's Sunshine, where decisions are made based on which plans have the most favorable risk-assessment. And while a few of the deaths are predictable (minor characters are minor for a reason), a couple are quite surprising. Best of all, the movies lets the crocodile act like a crocodile. The small island is barely bigger than the croc itself, and the croc could walk right onto land at any time and kill everyone. But it doesn't, because it only becomes aggressive when the humans invade its territory, which unfortunately is the water between the island and the shore. I realize this still sounds like a Sci-Fi Channel movie, but I assure you it's a well-made creature feature that is far more enjoyable than that shitty Prom Night remake that made $40 million.

Tooth & Nail
The After Dark Horrfest has been going on for two years now, and has so far highlighted sixteen films. All of them have been bad. Tooth & Nail is just plain terrible, which is unfortunate because it starts out really interesting. In a post-apocalyptic world, Rider Strong (Cabin Fever) and Michael Kelly (2004's Dawn of the Dead, TV's The Shield) are members of a survivors group led by Robert Carradine (Revenge of the Nerds). They are trying to live a peaceful life and slowly rebuild some form of society. One day they stumble upon a man being cannibalized. After scaring away the cannibal, they find a wounded Rachel Miner (Bully), the victim's girlfriend. They take her back to their home, and a few days later are being besieged by a gang of cannibals, called "Rovers," whose ranks include Vinnie Jones (Snatch) and Michael Madsen (no reference here, you should just know who he is by now). The setup has the appeal of a great, trashy B-movie, but the execution becomes scattered and boring after the first twenty minutes. It wastes the cast (especially Jones and Madsen, though Carradine gives a performance way above the material), and lets the plot unravel with all the grace of a water balloon hitting a brick wall.

Futurama: The Beast With a Billion Backs
I won't give away plot details, but I thought this was a marked improvement over the first Futurama movie. The jokes are better, and the movie isn't trying to cram itself full of minor characters and throwback references like Bender's Big Score did. Guest voice work by David Cross is great, and Brittany Murphy does well as the woman Fry yearns for. And while continuity and plot have never been a huge priority of the Futurama series, there is a lingering plot development at the end of this film that changes the dynamic between some of the characters in a way that really wasn't expected. I'm very curious where they will take this in the next movie (you'll know what I mean when you watch it).