Best Movie I Was Led To Believe Was Terrible: Robin Hood
Sure, it's not a great film by any stretch of the imagination, but it was entertaining and not a waste of my time. The film's biggest flaw is being called Robin Hood. Since it has almost nothing to do with the classic Robin Hood story, they could have just changed the character names and given it a generic middle ages title without altering the story one bit. Then maybe people wouldn't have been so disappointed.
Runner-Up: MacGruber
It stretches a single joke out for way too long, but it also has a stand-out comedic performance by Val Kilmer and enough clever one-liners to make the viewing experience worthwhile.
Biggest Letdown: Predators
I should never be bored by a film in the Predator franchise. Even AVP-R managed to hold my attention.
Runner-Up: Machete
I enjoy Lindsey Lohan's breasts as much as the next guy, but that's really all this movie has going for it.
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| Nice, but not enough to warrant a theatrical release. |
Best Remake: Piranha 3D
Piranha 3D delivered on everything that Machete promised. Gore, boobs, humor and overqualified actors who are in on the joke. And the film was intentionally shot too bright, so the natural dimming caused by 3D glasses doesn't hurt the movie's visuals. This was just plain fun.
Runner-up: The Crazies
It may be sacrilege for me to say this, but George Romero's original film wasn't very good. Which makes it even more surprising that Breck Eisner (Michael's son and director of the dreadful Sahara) was able to make it into a really good thriller that holds up for 3/4 of its runtime (and really, horror/thrillers almost always fall apart at the end anyway).
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| Also I have an obsession with Radha Mitchell. Even more than with Olivia Wilde. |
Best Movie From 2009 That I Didn't See Until 2010: Moon
Sam Rockwell gives a powerhouse performance in this small sci-fi drama. Actually, he gives powerhouse performances, plural. And director Duncan Jones (David Bowie's son) make great use out of a limited budget and essentially one set.
Runner-up: Cargo
This Swiss sci-fi thriller was made for less than Moon, and the visual scope of it is simply astounding. It looks like a sixty million dollar movie, yet cost less than five. The story has its issues, but the film has a lot of really cool ideas, decent acting, and tense pacing.
Best Short Film: Sintel
Sintel is the latest short film from the Blender Foundation, a group which uses free open-source 3D animation software and a community of users to produce its CGI animated films. Sintel is their most ambitious project to date, and looks damn good for a movie made by a few thousand amateurs. But beyond the visuals, the story of Sintel is an emotionally devastating one, especially to anyone who has ever had a beloved pet.
Runner-up: Ollie Klublershturf vs. The Nazis
An amusing little short starring some familar faces and written by Lost's Damon Lindelof that centers around a nice family dinner which happens to feature espionage, Nazis, a boy genius, and some time travel. It's quite funny.
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