Undoubtedly you have seen the ads for Get Smart's Bruce & Lloyd Out of Control, the direct-to-DVD Get Smart tie-in movie that features some of the theatrical film's minor characters in their own adventure. While I have no doubts that the movie will be atrocious, I am intrigued by the concept of near-simultaneous releases of major motion pictures and smaller films that tie-in to the larger story. Cartoons have been serving this function for a few years now with varying results (the really good Batman ones, the mixed-bag Animatrix, and the terrible The Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Fury), and mostly aimed at bridging the gap between sequels. But until now, live-action tie-in releases where extremely rare. If Bruce & Lloyd manages to make some cash, I can easily see this becoming part of the regular Hollywood business model. And while my first instinct is to be horrified, I can't help but think that this could be really great if put in the right hands.
I'm not delusional. I know that this type of treatment will only be given to the big-budget blockbuster releases, and we won't be seeing a No Country For Old Men spin-off showing the early career of Woody Harrelson's Carson Wells (I can always dream). But even then, there is potential. Imagine that The Bourne Ultimatum had a DVD tie-in that followed Julia Stiles after she had to go into hiding. Maybe we can get a glimpse at how Karen Allen spent the last 20 years while Indy was away. Or perhaps a 007 movie that followed M around for a day instead of Bond? I'm sure just a regular day at the office in M's shoes is probably interesting enough to warrant a $6 million budget.
These are my hopes, but they are sadly not my expectations. Rather, I fully believe we'll get a Mummy side story about how Brendan Fraser's kid uses an ancient scroll to stop the harassments of a school bully. Even if I give some creative credit to the studio system, I know the best we're likely to see is a 60-minute movie showing the amount of time and craftsmanship that the killer dedicates to making all those horrible devices in the Saw franchise (which I would kinda like to see, actually). I can always hope that some maverick filmmaker will see the artistic potential in this idea instead of just dollar signs. It's a foolish hope, But I still have it.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Black Water
After watching Rogue, I've been on a bit of a killer crocodile binge. Lake Placid 2 was unbelievably bad, and my next film on the list, Croc, doesn't look to be much better. But the little Aussie indie Black Water is pretty good. Probably better than Rogue, if only because Rogue gets a little dodgy at the end and Black Water's ending is more realistic. In fact, it's actually real.
Black Water is not technically a giant killer crocodile movie, but is instead a normal killer crocodile movie that is "Based on a True Story." A woman, her husband and her sister decide to take a guided fishing trip in the mangrove swamps of northern Australia while on vacation. They miss the main tour, but the assistant tour guide offers to take them out on his small fishing boat. After finding little success in the normal fishing spots, he takes them to a more remote area of the swamp. They unknowingly enter the territory of a crocodile, who rams the small boat and overturns it. The tourists scramble onto some of the trees growing out of the swamp, but the guide is dead (the movie doesn't make it clear if the guide was killed by the crocodile, or if he was struck by the overturning boat). The rest of the movie takes place in this location as the characters try to get to either the overturned boat, or to the pistol that is on the guide's corpse. Each requires them to get into the water, and the crocodile is still around.
Like Rogue, Black Water lets the crocodile act like a crocodile, concerned more with protecting its territory than with mindless slaughter. Unlike Rogue, the crocodile is not giant, just a regular ol' crocodile (which is still 12-14 feet long). In fact, the crocodile is barely seen. If a crocodile is hunting you, you're not going to see it. And that absence makes the suspense sequences in Black Water more credible. Maybe it's still there, or maybe it left to go do something else. Adding to the fear are the normal sounds of the swamp. Bubbles gurgle to the surface. Water swirls as something moves beneath. Small splashes are heard in every direction? The crocodile, or just fish and dragonflies? The film benefits greatly from its location shooting. During filming, a 14-foot crocodile attacked and made off with one of the cameras. Now that's location shooting. In fact, there is not a single artificial crocodile effect in the film. If there's a crocodile onscreen, it's real. That includes the shots that have humans and a croc in the same frame.
Black Water actually has more in common with Open Water than it does with Rogue or Lake Placid. It's about a group of humans who are stranded in nature and forced to confront the harsh reality that they are no longer the apex animal. I'm naturally predisposed to liking movies where humans have to face off against nature and fail miserably, so I walked away from Black Water very satisfied.
NOTE (and possible spoiler warning): Given that this is based on a true story as told by a witness, you know that at least one person will make it out alive. I give props to Black Water for never indicating which characters are doomed, laying the risks equally upon the whole cast and not bringing any one character to the fore.
Black Water is not technically a giant killer crocodile movie, but is instead a normal killer crocodile movie that is "Based on a True Story." A woman, her husband and her sister decide to take a guided fishing trip in the mangrove swamps of northern Australia while on vacation. They miss the main tour, but the assistant tour guide offers to take them out on his small fishing boat. After finding little success in the normal fishing spots, he takes them to a more remote area of the swamp. They unknowingly enter the territory of a crocodile, who rams the small boat and overturns it. The tourists scramble onto some of the trees growing out of the swamp, but the guide is dead (the movie doesn't make it clear if the guide was killed by the crocodile, or if he was struck by the overturning boat). The rest of the movie takes place in this location as the characters try to get to either the overturned boat, or to the pistol that is on the guide's corpse. Each requires them to get into the water, and the crocodile is still around.
Like Rogue, Black Water lets the crocodile act like a crocodile, concerned more with protecting its territory than with mindless slaughter. Unlike Rogue, the crocodile is not giant, just a regular ol' crocodile (which is still 12-14 feet long). In fact, the crocodile is barely seen. If a crocodile is hunting you, you're not going to see it. And that absence makes the suspense sequences in Black Water more credible. Maybe it's still there, or maybe it left to go do something else. Adding to the fear are the normal sounds of the swamp. Bubbles gurgle to the surface. Water swirls as something moves beneath. Small splashes are heard in every direction? The crocodile, or just fish and dragonflies? The film benefits greatly from its location shooting. During filming, a 14-foot crocodile attacked and made off with one of the cameras. Now that's location shooting. In fact, there is not a single artificial crocodile effect in the film. If there's a crocodile onscreen, it's real. That includes the shots that have humans and a croc in the same frame.
Black Water actually has more in common with Open Water than it does with Rogue or Lake Placid. It's about a group of humans who are stranded in nature and forced to confront the harsh reality that they are no longer the apex animal. I'm naturally predisposed to liking movies where humans have to face off against nature and fail miserably, so I walked away from Black Water very satisfied.
NOTE (and possible spoiler warning): Given that this is based on a true story as told by a witness, you know that at least one person will make it out alive. I give props to Black Water for never indicating which characters are doomed, laying the risks equally upon the whole cast and not bringing any one character to the fore.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Even More Catching Up
Yes, just a few more.
Cloverfield (A Revisit)
A ground-level view of a giant monster attack on New York City is a fantastic premise for a movie, and it mostly works in Cloverfield. The shaky-cam thing gets really annoying at times (which instilled a lot of hostility in me the first time I watched it), but is extremely effective in several scenes (the subway tunnel sequence in particular). The characters make the same dumb decisions that get made in every monster movie, but their fear and disbelief always seems real. It works well as a popcorn movie, and has several memorable action setpieces. And a special mention goes to Lizzy Caplan, who takes a minor role and upstages everyone with it.
Diary of the Dead
Diary of the Dead does the Cloverfield shtick, but with zombies instead of that weird Godzilla thing. And does it very poorly, I might add. George Romero has never cared much about characterization, focusing instead on the bigger themes. That approach has always worked for him in the past (even in Land of the Dead, a film that was mediocre for Romero but still better than most genre movies out there), but fails spectacularly in Diary of the Dead. Romero tries to make some statements about the media, but indestinguishable characters spell death for a movie that is shot in the first-person perspective. We have no interest in the people holding the camera, so we don't care what happens to them. At least the movie is mercifully short.
Strange Wilderness
I liked Grandma's Boy. Sue me. It was dumb humor, but it largely worked because it all felt so unforced. The cast was just so comfortable playing a group of underachieving stoners (gee, I wonder why), and the humor felt natural. Strange Wilderness tries to mine the same territory, but everything about this movie feels labored. Much of the Grandma's Boy cast returns, but without any of their humor. The bad jokes (and there are a LOT of them) don't just fall flat, they land with a deafening thud and are then kicked an additional 12 times. Being extremely generous, I'd estimate that only 1 out of every 9 jokes actually works. And that's only because Justin Long and Jonah Hill knock their roles out of the park. Steve Zahn does what he can in the lead role, but his efforts are not given any rewards by the script. Everyone else is a waste. Cameos by Harry Hamlin and Robert Patrick have the potential to be comedy classics, but end up just laying awkwardly lifeless on the screen (though Hamlin's death is funny...kinda). Here's the best way to describe the movie: it's the kind of film that features a man's penis getting stuck in the throat of a turkey and having to be removed in a very sensual way by a busty female nurse. Am I the only one smelling an Oscar?
Cloverfield (A Revisit)
A ground-level view of a giant monster attack on New York City is a fantastic premise for a movie, and it mostly works in Cloverfield. The shaky-cam thing gets really annoying at times (which instilled a lot of hostility in me the first time I watched it), but is extremely effective in several scenes (the subway tunnel sequence in particular). The characters make the same dumb decisions that get made in every monster movie, but their fear and disbelief always seems real. It works well as a popcorn movie, and has several memorable action setpieces. And a special mention goes to Lizzy Caplan, who takes a minor role and upstages everyone with it.
Diary of the Dead
Diary of the Dead does the Cloverfield shtick, but with zombies instead of that weird Godzilla thing. And does it very poorly, I might add. George Romero has never cared much about characterization, focusing instead on the bigger themes. That approach has always worked for him in the past (even in Land of the Dead, a film that was mediocre for Romero but still better than most genre movies out there), but fails spectacularly in Diary of the Dead. Romero tries to make some statements about the media, but indestinguishable characters spell death for a movie that is shot in the first-person perspective. We have no interest in the people holding the camera, so we don't care what happens to them. At least the movie is mercifully short.
Strange Wilderness
I liked Grandma's Boy. Sue me. It was dumb humor, but it largely worked because it all felt so unforced. The cast was just so comfortable playing a group of underachieving stoners (gee, I wonder why), and the humor felt natural. Strange Wilderness tries to mine the same territory, but everything about this movie feels labored. Much of the Grandma's Boy cast returns, but without any of their humor. The bad jokes (and there are a LOT of them) don't just fall flat, they land with a deafening thud and are then kicked an additional 12 times. Being extremely generous, I'd estimate that only 1 out of every 9 jokes actually works. And that's only because Justin Long and Jonah Hill knock their roles out of the park. Steve Zahn does what he can in the lead role, but his efforts are not given any rewards by the script. Everyone else is a waste. Cameos by Harry Hamlin and Robert Patrick have the potential to be comedy classics, but end up just laying awkwardly lifeless on the screen (though Hamlin's death is funny...kinda). Here's the best way to describe the movie: it's the kind of film that features a man's penis getting stuck in the throat of a turkey and having to be removed in a very sensual way by a busty female nurse. Am I the only one smelling an Oscar?
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Playing Catch-Up (Reprise)
You didn't think I'd gone months having only watched 4 movies, did you?
Outpost
Surprisingly, I watched a 3rd decent horror flick this year. Ray Stevenson (Rome's awesome Titus Pullo, and the next Punisher) stars as the leader of a small mercenary group hired by a mysterious Englishman to serve as bodyguards on an expedition somewhere in Eastern Europe (which is the most specific the title card ever gets). Where are they headed? To a lost Nazi bunker, of course! Turns out the Nazi were big into conducting unethical experiments with human subjects (No! Really? The Nazis? I don't believe you). And because this is a horror film, there are other nasty surprises to be had. This is great B-movie fare, combining the best elements of Dog Soldiers and Event Horizon, but with Nazi pseudo-zombies. The characters are mostly one-dimensional, and everyone chews scenery, but the tone is kept creepy and the set design is a character of its own (very much like Session 9). And unlike other war-based horror movies (Deathwatch, The Bunker), this one pulls off its ending quite well.
Sharkwater
Sharkwater will probably be the most gorgeous film I see this year. Filmmaker Rob Stewart started as a professional underwater cameraman, so he knows how to capture the really great shots. And with Sharkwater, he uses those shots to bring light to a greatly overlooked problem: massive destruction of the shark population. Unregulated fishing is leading towards the possible extinction of sharks (the first time humans will have been responsible for the extinction of an apex predator). Even better than the beautiful cinematography is the ground-level view he brings. He collides with an illegal fishing boat, gets chased by gunships, is arrested, flees custody, and comes close to having his leg amputated. Exciting stuff for a documentary about big fish. The film's only real drawback is Stewart himself, whose passion for the subject is eclipsed only by his need to constantly make himself the main character. He's a buff, tanned surfer dude. And you can tell, because of the 20 or so shots of him walking around on the beach shirtless, staring meaningfully off into the horizon. When the camera is pointing the other way, the movie is great.
No End in Sight
This 2007 Oscar nominee for Best Documentary gives a fair, bi-partisan view of the Iraq war disaster (at this point, there really isn't any other word for it) and how it came to be. It doesn't set out to be an attack on the war, but the plain facts make it seem so. The filmmakers talk to the people that were there, from 20-something Army troops to former Secretary of State Richard Armitage. If I go into too much detail, I'll start ranting. Let me just say this: the person put in charge of running the traffic grid for all of Baghdad was a freshly-graduated Georgetown student with no traffic experience who didn't speak a word of Arabic. She was the daughter of a Bush campaign contributor. Ebert gave this 4 stars, and it deserved every one of them. It deserves every one of the many accolades it has earned. See this movie! It is on Netflix and can be viewed instantly. If I've made it sound like a finger-pointing, Michael Moore-esque film I assure you it is not.
Outpost
Surprisingly, I watched a 3rd decent horror flick this year. Ray Stevenson (Rome's awesome Titus Pullo, and the next Punisher) stars as the leader of a small mercenary group hired by a mysterious Englishman to serve as bodyguards on an expedition somewhere in Eastern Europe (which is the most specific the title card ever gets). Where are they headed? To a lost Nazi bunker, of course! Turns out the Nazi were big into conducting unethical experiments with human subjects (No! Really? The Nazis? I don't believe you). And because this is a horror film, there are other nasty surprises to be had. This is great B-movie fare, combining the best elements of Dog Soldiers and Event Horizon, but with Nazi pseudo-zombies. The characters are mostly one-dimensional, and everyone chews scenery, but the tone is kept creepy and the set design is a character of its own (very much like Session 9). And unlike other war-based horror movies (Deathwatch, The Bunker), this one pulls off its ending quite well.
Sharkwater
Sharkwater will probably be the most gorgeous film I see this year. Filmmaker Rob Stewart started as a professional underwater cameraman, so he knows how to capture the really great shots. And with Sharkwater, he uses those shots to bring light to a greatly overlooked problem: massive destruction of the shark population. Unregulated fishing is leading towards the possible extinction of sharks (the first time humans will have been responsible for the extinction of an apex predator). Even better than the beautiful cinematography is the ground-level view he brings. He collides with an illegal fishing boat, gets chased by gunships, is arrested, flees custody, and comes close to having his leg amputated. Exciting stuff for a documentary about big fish. The film's only real drawback is Stewart himself, whose passion for the subject is eclipsed only by his need to constantly make himself the main character. He's a buff, tanned surfer dude. And you can tell, because of the 20 or so shots of him walking around on the beach shirtless, staring meaningfully off into the horizon. When the camera is pointing the other way, the movie is great.
No End in Sight
This 2007 Oscar nominee for Best Documentary gives a fair, bi-partisan view of the Iraq war disaster (at this point, there really isn't any other word for it) and how it came to be. It doesn't set out to be an attack on the war, but the plain facts make it seem so. The filmmakers talk to the people that were there, from 20-something Army troops to former Secretary of State Richard Armitage. If I go into too much detail, I'll start ranting. Let me just say this: the person put in charge of running the traffic grid for all of Baghdad was a freshly-graduated Georgetown student with no traffic experience who didn't speak a word of Arabic. She was the daughter of a Bush campaign contributor. Ebert gave this 4 stars, and it deserved every one of them. It deserves every one of the many accolades it has earned. See this movie! It is on Netflix and can be viewed instantly. If I've made it sound like a finger-pointing, Michael Moore-esque film I assure you it is not.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Playing Catch-Up
So, I obviously haven't updated lately. I wish I had some worthy excuse, but the truth is that I have just been lazy. And I continue to be lazy, which is why I'm just going to write a few quick blurbs about the stuff I've watched lately.
The Signal
Every year I manage to find at least one great horror movie, and I can now check this year off the list. The Signal is far from flawless, but it has ambition, ideas, good performances, and does a fantastic job at hiding its small budget. The plot: Every TV, radio and phone begins broadcasting a chaotic signal. Anyone exposed to the signal for too long is suddenly filled with the urge to murder. Naturally, the world goes to Hell pretty quickly. The film is divided into three vignettes, which it calls "transmissions." The first transmission deals with Mya, who has been having an affair with Ben, arousing the suspicions of her husband Lewis. Mya's story takes us through the beginning of the outbreak, and is the fastest-paced of the three sections. The hilarious second act focuses on what can be considered either the greatest or worst New Year's party that has ever shown up on film, as Lewis tries to find Mya. Lewis' story is noteworthy because it establishes the POV of an infected person. In their mind the violence is completely rational. The final story follows Ben as he tries to find Mya before Lewis does. The movie's moral is pretty heavy-handed during the last stretch, but it has a clever climax (using a person's distorted perspective against them), and Ben is a great protagonist. Most of the reviews I've read claim that The Signal is destined to become a cult classic. It definitely deserves to be. The recently-released DVD features three additional "transmission" short films, and they show the outbreak from a few other perspectives (people working at a TV station, a man in a Best Buy-type of store, and a family on a road trip). Well worth a Netflix rental.
Rogue
Wow, two decent horror movies in the first six months of 2008? That's unprecedented. Before I say anything further, let me give this disclaimer: Rogue is a movie about a giant killer crocodile. As such, there's only so good a movie within the "giant killer animal" genre can ever get. Rogue is one of the better ones I've seen. The plot is nothing new, but the direction is solid, and the characters act like they actually have brains. Radha Mitchell operates a sight-seeing boat in Australia. Michael Vartan is a travel writer from Chicago who is doing a piece on the outback. While giving the tour, Mitchell sees an emergency flare and must respond. They find a sunken boat, and a croc that could kick the crap out of the ones in Lake Placid. The boat is run aground on a small island, and the rest of the movie involves the various schemes to traverse the distance between the island and the shore. A surprising amount of thought goes into their plans. I was reminded rather oddly of last summer's Sunshine, where decisions are made based on which plans have the most favorable risk-assessment. And while a few of the deaths are predictable (minor characters are minor for a reason), a couple are quite surprising. Best of all, the movies lets the crocodile act like a crocodile. The small island is barely bigger than the croc itself, and the croc could walk right onto land at any time and kill everyone. But it doesn't, because it only becomes aggressive when the humans invade its territory, which unfortunately is the water between the island and the shore. I realize this still sounds like a Sci-Fi Channel movie, but I assure you it's a well-made creature feature that is far more enjoyable than that shitty Prom Night remake that made $40 million.
Tooth & Nail
The After Dark Horrfest has been going on for two years now, and has so far highlighted sixteen films. All of them have been bad. Tooth & Nail is just plain terrible, which is unfortunate because it starts out really interesting. In a post-apocalyptic world, Rider Strong (Cabin Fever) and Michael Kelly (2004's Dawn of the Dead, TV's The Shield) are members of a survivors group led by Robert Carradine (Revenge of the Nerds). They are trying to live a peaceful life and slowly rebuild some form of society. One day they stumble upon a man being cannibalized. After scaring away the cannibal, they find a wounded Rachel Miner (Bully), the victim's girlfriend. They take her back to their home, and a few days later are being besieged by a gang of cannibals, called "Rovers," whose ranks include Vinnie Jones (Snatch) and Michael Madsen (no reference here, you should just know who he is by now). The setup has the appeal of a great, trashy B-movie, but the execution becomes scattered and boring after the first twenty minutes. It wastes the cast (especially Jones and Madsen, though Carradine gives a performance way above the material), and lets the plot unravel with all the grace of a water balloon hitting a brick wall.
Futurama: The Beast With a Billion Backs
I won't give away plot details, but I thought this was a marked improvement over the first Futurama movie. The jokes are better, and the movie isn't trying to cram itself full of minor characters and throwback references like Bender's Big Score did. Guest voice work by David Cross is great, and Brittany Murphy does well as the woman Fry yearns for. And while continuity and plot have never been a huge priority of the Futurama series, there is a lingering plot development at the end of this film that changes the dynamic between some of the characters in a way that really wasn't expected. I'm very curious where they will take this in the next movie (you'll know what I mean when you watch it).
The Signal
Every year I manage to find at least one great horror movie, and I can now check this year off the list. The Signal is far from flawless, but it has ambition, ideas, good performances, and does a fantastic job at hiding its small budget. The plot: Every TV, radio and phone begins broadcasting a chaotic signal. Anyone exposed to the signal for too long is suddenly filled with the urge to murder. Naturally, the world goes to Hell pretty quickly. The film is divided into three vignettes, which it calls "transmissions." The first transmission deals with Mya, who has been having an affair with Ben, arousing the suspicions of her husband Lewis. Mya's story takes us through the beginning of the outbreak, and is the fastest-paced of the three sections. The hilarious second act focuses on what can be considered either the greatest or worst New Year's party that has ever shown up on film, as Lewis tries to find Mya. Lewis' story is noteworthy because it establishes the POV of an infected person. In their mind the violence is completely rational. The final story follows Ben as he tries to find Mya before Lewis does. The movie's moral is pretty heavy-handed during the last stretch, but it has a clever climax (using a person's distorted perspective against them), and Ben is a great protagonist. Most of the reviews I've read claim that The Signal is destined to become a cult classic. It definitely deserves to be. The recently-released DVD features three additional "transmission" short films, and they show the outbreak from a few other perspectives (people working at a TV station, a man in a Best Buy-type of store, and a family on a road trip). Well worth a Netflix rental.
Rogue
Wow, two decent horror movies in the first six months of 2008? That's unprecedented. Before I say anything further, let me give this disclaimer: Rogue is a movie about a giant killer crocodile. As such, there's only so good a movie within the "giant killer animal" genre can ever get. Rogue is one of the better ones I've seen. The plot is nothing new, but the direction is solid, and the characters act like they actually have brains. Radha Mitchell operates a sight-seeing boat in Australia. Michael Vartan is a travel writer from Chicago who is doing a piece on the outback. While giving the tour, Mitchell sees an emergency flare and must respond. They find a sunken boat, and a croc that could kick the crap out of the ones in Lake Placid. The boat is run aground on a small island, and the rest of the movie involves the various schemes to traverse the distance between the island and the shore. A surprising amount of thought goes into their plans. I was reminded rather oddly of last summer's Sunshine, where decisions are made based on which plans have the most favorable risk-assessment. And while a few of the deaths are predictable (minor characters are minor for a reason), a couple are quite surprising. Best of all, the movies lets the crocodile act like a crocodile. The small island is barely bigger than the croc itself, and the croc could walk right onto land at any time and kill everyone. But it doesn't, because it only becomes aggressive when the humans invade its territory, which unfortunately is the water between the island and the shore. I realize this still sounds like a Sci-Fi Channel movie, but I assure you it's a well-made creature feature that is far more enjoyable than that shitty Prom Night remake that made $40 million.
Tooth & Nail
The After Dark Horrfest has been going on for two years now, and has so far highlighted sixteen films. All of them have been bad. Tooth & Nail is just plain terrible, which is unfortunate because it starts out really interesting. In a post-apocalyptic world, Rider Strong (Cabin Fever) and Michael Kelly (2004's Dawn of the Dead, TV's The Shield) are members of a survivors group led by Robert Carradine (Revenge of the Nerds). They are trying to live a peaceful life and slowly rebuild some form of society. One day they stumble upon a man being cannibalized. After scaring away the cannibal, they find a wounded Rachel Miner (Bully), the victim's girlfriend. They take her back to their home, and a few days later are being besieged by a gang of cannibals, called "Rovers," whose ranks include Vinnie Jones (Snatch) and Michael Madsen (no reference here, you should just know who he is by now). The setup has the appeal of a great, trashy B-movie, but the execution becomes scattered and boring after the first twenty minutes. It wastes the cast (especially Jones and Madsen, though Carradine gives a performance way above the material), and lets the plot unravel with all the grace of a water balloon hitting a brick wall.
Futurama: The Beast With a Billion Backs
I won't give away plot details, but I thought this was a marked improvement over the first Futurama movie. The jokes are better, and the movie isn't trying to cram itself full of minor characters and throwback references like Bender's Big Score did. Guest voice work by David Cross is great, and Brittany Murphy does well as the woman Fry yearns for. And while continuity and plot have never been a huge priority of the Futurama series, there is a lingering plot development at the end of this film that changes the dynamic between some of the characters in a way that really wasn't expected. I'm very curious where they will take this in the next movie (you'll know what I mean when you watch it).
Thursday, April 10, 2008
88 Minutes
I've had this movie since May '07. "But how can that be?" you might be asking yourself, "It doesn't come out in theaters until next Friday." My answer: I have ways, man. WAYS.
Also I have the internet, which comprises approximately 100% of my "ways."
As it turns out, 88 Minutes has a long history. It was made in 2005, slotted for a 2006 release, then shelved and scheduled for a 2007 direct-to-DVD release. When the threat of the writers' strike became evident, Sony decided to hold off on the DVD release, in case it had to do a theatrical release to fill in the product void a writers' strike would create. The strike did happen, the void exists, and 88 Minutes hits theaters next Friday.
I watched this movie less out of an interest in the plot (the trailers made it look like a run-of-the-mill thriller), but because the cast appealed to me. Al Pacino, Leelee Sobieski, Alicia Witt, Amy Brenneman, Debora Kara-Unger, William Forsythe, Neal McDonough, and Battlestar Galactica's Leah Cairns (I have a crush).
Sweet crap 88 Minutes is awful. Maybe not Uwe Boll-awful, but certainly Reindeer Games-awful. Pacino appears to be talking while asleep, Alicia Witt seems to either be mixing uppers and downers or is bi-polar, Leelee Sobieski appears to have shot her scenes out of sequence over a 3-year period where she was slowly gaining weight, and William Forsythe (who is one of cinema's all-time-great heavies) is taking the same nap as Pacino. Brenneman doesn't totally embarrass herself, but isn't memorable. Deborah Kara-Unger has all of 3 minutes onscreen, and can't screw up too badly because she has nothing to screw up. Neal McDonough is always good, and is the standout here. And the highlight of the entire film is Leah Cairn's sweet, sweet ass. Said ass gets about a minute of screentime in the beginning, and the film goes downhill from there.
And the plot? Al Pacino gets a cell phone call from someone who tells him he has 88 minutes to live. Paranoia and murder ensues. The film throws in so many obvious thriller cliches that it actually does become hard to spot the eventual twist. This happens not because of style, but because the movie is so filled with cliches that up until the final reveal, the writer could literally just pick any character out of the bunch to be the killer and have a complete motive and backstory. I watched it with my wife, and I was constantly calling out what I thought the outcome will be. With about 15 minutes left in the movie, I paused it and laid out at least 5 wildly different scenarios that could be the eventual twist. It's bad enough when one ending is predictable, but when I can watch a movie and know every single way the plot could possibly go, that's just terrible, terrible filmmaking.
And what's worse is that the director of this film, Jon Avnet, is also the director of the upcoming thriller Righteous Kill, which will reunite Al Pacino with Robert De Niro. Pacino and De Niro finally together again, in a film from the creator of 88 Minutes. What a terrible world we live in.
Also I have the internet, which comprises approximately 100% of my "ways."
As it turns out, 88 Minutes has a long history. It was made in 2005, slotted for a 2006 release, then shelved and scheduled for a 2007 direct-to-DVD release. When the threat of the writers' strike became evident, Sony decided to hold off on the DVD release, in case it had to do a theatrical release to fill in the product void a writers' strike would create. The strike did happen, the void exists, and 88 Minutes hits theaters next Friday.
I watched this movie less out of an interest in the plot (the trailers made it look like a run-of-the-mill thriller), but because the cast appealed to me. Al Pacino, Leelee Sobieski, Alicia Witt, Amy Brenneman, Debora Kara-Unger, William Forsythe, Neal McDonough, and Battlestar Galactica's Leah Cairns (I have a crush).
Sweet crap 88 Minutes is awful. Maybe not Uwe Boll-awful, but certainly Reindeer Games-awful. Pacino appears to be talking while asleep, Alicia Witt seems to either be mixing uppers and downers or is bi-polar, Leelee Sobieski appears to have shot her scenes out of sequence over a 3-year period where she was slowly gaining weight, and William Forsythe (who is one of cinema's all-time-great heavies) is taking the same nap as Pacino. Brenneman doesn't totally embarrass herself, but isn't memorable. Deborah Kara-Unger has all of 3 minutes onscreen, and can't screw up too badly because she has nothing to screw up. Neal McDonough is always good, and is the standout here. And the highlight of the entire film is Leah Cairn's sweet, sweet ass. Said ass gets about a minute of screentime in the beginning, and the film goes downhill from there.
And the plot? Al Pacino gets a cell phone call from someone who tells him he has 88 minutes to live. Paranoia and murder ensues. The film throws in so many obvious thriller cliches that it actually does become hard to spot the eventual twist. This happens not because of style, but because the movie is so filled with cliches that up until the final reveal, the writer could literally just pick any character out of the bunch to be the killer and have a complete motive and backstory. I watched it with my wife, and I was constantly calling out what I thought the outcome will be. With about 15 minutes left in the movie, I paused it and laid out at least 5 wildly different scenarios that could be the eventual twist. It's bad enough when one ending is predictable, but when I can watch a movie and know every single way the plot could possibly go, that's just terrible, terrible filmmaking.
And what's worse is that the director of this film, Jon Avnet, is also the director of the upcoming thriller Righteous Kill, which will reunite Al Pacino with Robert De Niro. Pacino and De Niro finally together again, in a film from the creator of 88 Minutes. What a terrible world we live in.
Monday, April 07, 2008
Lazy Reviews
Things I've Watched Recently:
Cloverfield
This would have been a fine sci-fi thriller if not for that gimmicky shaky-cam crap. The shaky-cam style should be used to add a sense of rawness or urgency, not complete and utter confusion. Yeah, I know, the characters were confused and so we're supposed to see them being confused. But after 20 minutes, it wears out its welcome and becomes annoying. It also would have helped if the movie weren't populated by idiots. "Hey, the giant monster is right in front of us! I know, I'll turn around and film my friends' reaction to the monster instead of the monster itself! I'm brilliant!"
Rambo 4 (aka John Rambo or Rambo, depending on which country you're in)
Not terrible. I guess. It held my attention, even if I was rolling my eyes half of the time. The action was way overdone, but as repetitive as it was, I never actually got tired of seeing people get hit by .50-caliber rounds. But Richard Crenna was dearly missed.
The Beast (aka The Beast of War)
I'd always heard that this 1988 film was an overlooked classic, so I finally got around to watching it. I wouldn't go so far as to call it a classic, but it was a damn fine movie. It focuses on a lost Soviet tank during the war between Russia and Afghanistan. The tank and its crew have just wiped out an innocent civilian village, and are being pursued by a group of Afghan rebels bent on revenge. The tank's commander (character actor George Dzundza, in the best role of his career) is slowly losing his mind, while the crew (including a young Jason Patric and very young Stephen Baldwin) begin to have a crisis of conscience. The tank scenes play like excerpts from Das Boot, though inside a different vehicle of war. There are major flaws (no actor even attempts a Russian accent), but they are easily ignored in favor of plot momentum. The movie is basically one long chase, and the tension is kept high at all times. I highly recommend this to anyone with a Netflix subscription.
The Mist
Ridiculous ending aside, I loved it. But I also loved the novella, and the film doesn't stray very far from the source material (apart from the the previously mentioned ending). I think Richard Roeper described it best when he called it "...one of the best B-movies of 2007, and I mean that in a good way." It relies on atmosphere instead of jump-scares, and focuses as much on the dark side of human nature as it does on the monsters. Just remember to stop the movie as soon as the main characters pull away in the Land Cruiser. Just pretend they drive off into the mist and the credits roll.
Cloverfield
This would have been a fine sci-fi thriller if not for that gimmicky shaky-cam crap. The shaky-cam style should be used to add a sense of rawness or urgency, not complete and utter confusion. Yeah, I know, the characters were confused and so we're supposed to see them being confused. But after 20 minutes, it wears out its welcome and becomes annoying. It also would have helped if the movie weren't populated by idiots. "Hey, the giant monster is right in front of us! I know, I'll turn around and film my friends' reaction to the monster instead of the monster itself! I'm brilliant!"
Rambo 4 (aka John Rambo or Rambo, depending on which country you're in)
Not terrible. I guess. It held my attention, even if I was rolling my eyes half of the time. The action was way overdone, but as repetitive as it was, I never actually got tired of seeing people get hit by .50-caliber rounds. But Richard Crenna was dearly missed.
The Beast (aka The Beast of War)
I'd always heard that this 1988 film was an overlooked classic, so I finally got around to watching it. I wouldn't go so far as to call it a classic, but it was a damn fine movie. It focuses on a lost Soviet tank during the war between Russia and Afghanistan. The tank and its crew have just wiped out an innocent civilian village, and are being pursued by a group of Afghan rebels bent on revenge. The tank's commander (character actor George Dzundza, in the best role of his career) is slowly losing his mind, while the crew (including a young Jason Patric and very young Stephen Baldwin) begin to have a crisis of conscience. The tank scenes play like excerpts from Das Boot, though inside a different vehicle of war. There are major flaws (no actor even attempts a Russian accent), but they are easily ignored in favor of plot momentum. The movie is basically one long chase, and the tension is kept high at all times. I highly recommend this to anyone with a Netflix subscription.
The Mist
Ridiculous ending aside, I loved it. But I also loved the novella, and the film doesn't stray very far from the source material (apart from the the previously mentioned ending). I think Richard Roeper described it best when he called it "...one of the best B-movies of 2007, and I mean that in a good way." It relies on atmosphere instead of jump-scares, and focuses as much on the dark side of human nature as it does on the monsters. Just remember to stop the movie as soon as the main characters pull away in the Land Cruiser. Just pretend they drive off into the mist and the credits roll.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Walk Hard
This post isn't about the movie, which was very enjoyable but certainly not last year's strongest comedy (I'm sorry, but that honor goes to Hot Fuzz).
Instead, I'd like to take a moment to recommend that everyone who reads this post immediately stop reading, walk to your motorized transportation vehicle, drive to your nearest music retail outlet, and purchase the Walk Hard soundtrack.
The songs are gloriously funny. They are not parodies in the way we tend to think of parodies, but rather the conventions of several musical eras taken to the extreme. What do I mean by this? Listen to this take on the typical 60's Bob Dylan song: Royal Jelly.
There perfect versions of the stereotypical Harry Chapin ("Let Me Hold You"), Buddy Holly ("Take My Hand"), and LSD-era Beatles ("Black Sheep") songs. And of course there are multiple takes on the prototypical Johnny Cash songs (the standouts being "Let's Duet" and "Guilty As Charged").
So go out right now and buy this soundtrack (or illegally download it online if you are a filthy pirate who wants to rob the RIAA....sorry, I mean the artists....of their hard earned cash).
Instead, I'd like to take a moment to recommend that everyone who reads this post immediately stop reading, walk to your motorized transportation vehicle, drive to your nearest music retail outlet, and purchase the Walk Hard soundtrack.
The songs are gloriously funny. They are not parodies in the way we tend to think of parodies, but rather the conventions of several musical eras taken to the extreme. What do I mean by this? Listen to this take on the typical 60's Bob Dylan song: Royal Jelly.
There perfect versions of the stereotypical Harry Chapin ("Let Me Hold You"), Buddy Holly ("Take My Hand"), and LSD-era Beatles ("Black Sheep") songs. And of course there are multiple takes on the prototypical Johnny Cash songs (the standouts being "Let's Duet" and "Guilty As Charged").
So go out right now and buy this soundtrack (or illegally download it online if you are a filthy pirate who wants to rob the RIAA....sorry, I mean the artists....of their hard earned cash).
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Not a pimp, so suicide is still an option
I just watched Southland Tales.
I have no idea what to type.
If you've seen the movie, you'll surely identify with me on this one.
As per my brain's typically simplistic style of coping with things I've just seen, I shall make the following analogy:
Watching Southland Tales is like standing at the end of a line of all the most attractive, desireable males in all of existence, and having the Roman goddess Venus walked dismissively past all of them, kiss you on the cheek, and then hit you in the nuts with a bowling ball.
This analogy works on 2 levels.
1. When you try to explain what happened to others, no one will believe you.
2. While you can no longer reproduce, there's no doubt you were kissed by a Goddess.
So you might ask, "Is the film good or bad?"
My answer: "I have no fucking clue."
I actually watched Southland Tales 5 days ago, and it's taking me this long to write a blog that can even make this much sense.
Here, one last way to describe it, perhaps more accurately: Southland Tales is a movie that abducts you from your home and returns you several days later with a nice manicure and a glass of the finest liqueur you've ever tasted, but no memory of what occurred and a suspiciously sore left ankle.
I have no idea what to type.
If you've seen the movie, you'll surely identify with me on this one.
As per my brain's typically simplistic style of coping with things I've just seen, I shall make the following analogy:
Watching Southland Tales is like standing at the end of a line of all the most attractive, desireable males in all of existence, and having the Roman goddess Venus walked dismissively past all of them, kiss you on the cheek, and then hit you in the nuts with a bowling ball.
This analogy works on 2 levels.
1. When you try to explain what happened to others, no one will believe you.
2. While you can no longer reproduce, there's no doubt you were kissed by a Goddess.
So you might ask, "Is the film good or bad?"
My answer: "I have no fucking clue."
I actually watched Southland Tales 5 days ago, and it's taking me this long to write a blog that can even make this much sense.
Here, one last way to describe it, perhaps more accurately: Southland Tales is a movie that abducts you from your home and returns you several days later with a nice manicure and a glass of the finest liqueur you've ever tasted, but no memory of what occurred and a suspiciously sore left ankle.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
The Last 2007 List, I Swear
After making my initial Best Of list for 2007, I then had to make an amendment. Now, weeks later, I shall be making more. I've seen a few more 2007 releases that have left me greatly impressed, while I have also re-watched some of my earlier choices and found that their quality fades upon second viewing.
And now, for the last time, I will present my choices for the best films of 2007 (in Top 15 form this time):
15. Seraphim Falls
14. Knocked Up
13. The Lookout
12. Sunshine
11. The Bourne Ultimatum
10. Hot Fuzz
9. Wristcutters: A Love Story
8. Juno
7. There Will Be Blood
6. Grindhouse
5. Rocket Science
4. Michael Clayton
3. Gone Baby Gone
2. Zodiac
1. No Country For Old Men
I really liked Dedication the first time I saw it, but the second time through I couldn't help but notice how cliche and vapid it was. I call this phenomena "The Garden State Effect."
The absence of such critically-praised films as Atonement, Into The Wild and Sweeny Todd are not a result of my not having seen them, but by my not really liking them.
Best DVD of 2007: Knocked Up (2-Disc Collector's Edition)
The special features are even better than the movie. From the 45-minute long documentary showing the original actors hired to play Seth Rogan's role (Justin Long and James Franco are particularly good) to the hilarious 5 minute featurette detailing how the studio hired Capote director Bennett Miller to hang out on set and second-guess all of Judd Apatow's directing decisions, this is a great amusement value for your home video dollar.
And now, for the last time, I will present my choices for the best films of 2007 (in Top 15 form this time):
15. Seraphim Falls
14. Knocked Up
13. The Lookout
12. Sunshine
11. The Bourne Ultimatum
10. Hot Fuzz
9. Wristcutters: A Love Story
8. Juno
7. There Will Be Blood
6. Grindhouse
5. Rocket Science
4. Michael Clayton
3. Gone Baby Gone
2. Zodiac
1. No Country For Old Men
I really liked Dedication the first time I saw it, but the second time through I couldn't help but notice how cliche and vapid it was. I call this phenomena "The Garden State Effect."
The absence of such critically-praised films as Atonement, Into The Wild and Sweeny Todd are not a result of my not having seen them, but by my not really liking them.
Best DVD of 2007: Knocked Up (2-Disc Collector's Edition)
The special features are even better than the movie. From the 45-minute long documentary showing the original actors hired to play Seth Rogan's role (Justin Long and James Franco are particularly good) to the hilarious 5 minute featurette detailing how the studio hired Capote director Bennett Miller to hang out on set and second-guess all of Judd Apatow's directing decisions, this is a great amusement value for your home video dollar.
Monday, February 18, 2008
I'm worried
I watch The Daily Show every night before going to bed. When the writers strike began, I was crushed. How would I get my nightly news? By watching a serious, non-satirical news program? I don't think so. So for the months of November and December, I knew nothing of the world around me. But in mid-January, The Daily Show began airing again. And much like other nighttime comedy shows that also returned to air, it was without the participation of writers. Jon Stewart had to perform script-less. And he nailed it. Sure, he occasionally filled empty seconds by drawing out a joke well past the point of being funny, but overall it seemed to be of the same pre-strike quality.
And now that the strike has ended and the writers have returned...it's not as good. That's right, with a full writing staff back at work, The Daily Show is less entertaining than when it was working without a safety net. I still watch it every night, but the jokes have gotten lamer, the delivery is stiff, and the whole thing feels like no one is trying. Has the strike drained the writers of their wit? Has picketing during the winter frozen their talent? Are the rest of my favorite shows going to return to the air with half-assed scripts? I'm worried that television's creative spirit has been broken.
And now that the strike has ended and the writers have returned...it's not as good. That's right, with a full writing staff back at work, The Daily Show is less entertaining than when it was working without a safety net. I still watch it every night, but the jokes have gotten lamer, the delivery is stiff, and the whole thing feels like no one is trying. Has the strike drained the writers of their wit? Has picketing during the winter frozen their talent? Are the rest of my favorite shows going to return to the air with half-assed scripts? I'm worried that television's creative spirit has been broken.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Day of the Dead
Remember back in 2004, when the remake of Dawn of the Dead was released? Horror fans, especially myself, were terrified that a movie we loved was getting remade and thus ruined forever. As it turns out, the remake wasn't too bad. The film had been given to a good director who knew how to pick up the slack visually when the movie's story began to sag (around minute 4). The result was not a classic, but was better than anyone had anticipated.
Now, 4 years later, the remake of Day of the Dead is being released. And I am here to say that this movie is exactly what we had all feared in 2004.
First, let me clarify something. Day of the Dead (2008) is not a sequel 2004's Dawn of the Dead (Ving Rhames does show up again, but as a different character). It is simply a remake of Romero's original Day of the Dead. Got that? Because I don't ever want anyone thinking this has anything to do with any of the prior films. This is a cheap, cash-in remake with absolutely no effort put forth.
Nothing connects this film with the original Day except that the main characters are soldiers. In fact, more than half of the movie takes place on a fully-manned military base, above ground. Ving Rhames' role is nothing more than an extended cameo as the leads' superior officer. And who are the leads? None other than the versatile method actors Nick Cannon and Mena Suvari. Hang on, let me type something again, for emphasis: NICK CANNON. Trust me, having seen the film, the casting makes just as little sense now as it did when I first learned about it.
And the plot? Something goes wrong with something, zombies are unleashed, and people run from the zombies. Same plot as every other zombie movie. But with Nick Cannon.
I see no reason why this isn't called House of the Dead 3. It's pointless, poorly made, poorly acted (Cannon is especially horrendous, like the poor man's Chris Tucker[yes, I said it]), and poorly everything-ed. It is so bad that even though it was intended for a theatrical release, and there's currently a writer's strike, it's still going direct-to-DVD.
Now, 4 years later, the remake of Day of the Dead is being released. And I am here to say that this movie is exactly what we had all feared in 2004.
First, let me clarify something. Day of the Dead (2008) is not a sequel 2004's Dawn of the Dead (Ving Rhames does show up again, but as a different character). It is simply a remake of Romero's original Day of the Dead. Got that? Because I don't ever want anyone thinking this has anything to do with any of the prior films. This is a cheap, cash-in remake with absolutely no effort put forth.
Nothing connects this film with the original Day except that the main characters are soldiers. In fact, more than half of the movie takes place on a fully-manned military base, above ground. Ving Rhames' role is nothing more than an extended cameo as the leads' superior officer. And who are the leads? None other than the versatile method actors Nick Cannon and Mena Suvari. Hang on, let me type something again, for emphasis: NICK CANNON. Trust me, having seen the film, the casting makes just as little sense now as it did when I first learned about it.
And the plot? Something goes wrong with something, zombies are unleashed, and people run from the zombies. Same plot as every other zombie movie. But with Nick Cannon.
I see no reason why this isn't called House of the Dead 3. It's pointless, poorly made, poorly acted (Cannon is especially horrendous, like the poor man's Chris Tucker[yes, I said it]), and poorly everything-ed. It is so bad that even though it was intended for a theatrical release, and there's currently a writer's strike, it's still going direct-to-DVD.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Top 5 Amendment
I just finished watching another 2007 film, and feel as though I should amend my Top 5 (which was really Top 6) list from last year. My new list is as folllows:
7. Wristcutters: A Love Story
6. Juno
5. Dedication
4. Rocket Science
3. Gone Baby Gone
2. Zodiac
1. No Country For Old Men
There's nothing blazingly original about the story in Dedication, but all the actors play it so well that it feels new anyway. It's truly sad that Mandy Moore's best films are always the overlooked ones. She could be an A-list lead, but always winds up in crap. Billy Crudup is also still waiting for the mainstream attention that his talant so richly deserves. And while Tom Wilkenson was fantastic in Michael Clayton, his Oscar nomination should have come from this movie, instead.
7. Wristcutters: A Love Story
6. Juno
5. Dedication
4. Rocket Science
3. Gone Baby Gone
2. Zodiac
1. No Country For Old Men
There's nothing blazingly original about the story in Dedication, but all the actors play it so well that it feels new anyway. It's truly sad that Mandy Moore's best films are always the overlooked ones. She could be an A-list lead, but always winds up in crap. Billy Crudup is also still waiting for the mainstream attention that his talant so richly deserves. And while Tom Wilkenson was fantastic in Michael Clayton, his Oscar nomination should have come from this movie, instead.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
2007, Top 5
After playing catch-up on some of last year's most acclaimed films, I'm finally ready to weigh-in with my picks.
5. Juno
As with every other reviewer, I was completely charmed by this Sundance wonder. Sure, the dialog is suspiciously hip at times and the love subplot with Michael Cera feels a little light. But with rich, lovable characters rendered perfectly by the entire cast, it's hard to fault the small stuff. Ellen Page absolutely deserves her Oscar nomination. Allison Janney and Jennifer Garner were robbed.
4. Rocket Science
I'm psychic. Don't believe me? Here, I'll show you: right now, you're thinking "He's not psychic, and what the hell is Rocket Science?" Ha! Doubt my powers now!
Rocket Science was another festival favorite, lost in the wake left behind by Juno. While Juno is a delightful movie, Rocket Science felt more honest, and had a greater impact on me. The film concerns young Hal Hefner, a bright, shy high school student with a stuttering problem. One day a gorgeous, ambitious, and fiercely intelligent girl sits down next to him on the school bus, and in a few brilliant sentences, convinces him to join the debate team. It is obvious, to everyone, that she probably has some ulterior motive, but Hal follows her lead anyway. The movie has all the typical staples of a suburban indie comedy: quirky neighbors, dysfunctional family, "wacky" situations. But it also has a lot of realistically felt pain, the kind that can either make or break a person in their developing years. And while the ending starts to look like it's heading towards that same "everyone is happy in the end" destination where Juno landed, it makes a sharp turn back into reality. And that actually makes me happier.
3. Gone Baby Gone
Great performances, great direction and a great story. The only thing holding this film back is Michelle Monaghan's character. She was unnecessary, distracting, and her only purpose in this movie is to set up the film's ending. The rest of the movie is so great that this element just stood out like a sore thumb. Aside from her, the rest of the top-notch cast are in splendid form, especially the lesser known Amy Ryan and Titus Welliver.
2. Zodiac
A police procedural of the highest order. David Fincher's direction and meticulous attention to detail make the whole movie feel authentic, as though the audience were part of the investigation. This is not a movie about the characters, but about the process. We see all the red tape, dead ends and collateral damage involved in a high-profile murder case. Some complained about the pacing, but I have no problems with it. It slows down as the case slows down, and picks up when new details arrive. The whole movie feels real.
1. No Country For Old Men
By this point, there's nothing I can say about this that hasn't been said to death already. It absolutely deserves every awards it's been nominated for, and a lot more.
Honerable Mentions:
Wristcutters: A Love Story
If my list went higher, this would have been my #6. It's the first truly unique take on a romantic comedy I've seen since My Date With Drew. Patrick Fugit commits suicide, and finds himself in an afterlife that is just like this world...only a little worse. The sun never quite makes it all the way out from behind the clouds, grocery shelves are always half-stocked, and no one can smile. After running into an old friend, Fugit discovers that shortly after his own suicide, his girlfriend killed herself. Along with a strange Russian he meets in a bar, Fugit sets off on a road trip to locate his girlfriend. Along the way, they pick up a hitchhiking Shannyn Sossamon, who is on her own quest to find "the people in charge." She accidentally overdosed, and doesn't believe she's been sent to the correct afterlife.
The love story is sweet, and reminds us how great Shannyn Sossamon can be when she's not slumming in J-grade horror schlock. The small details of the strange suicide purgatory are often hilarious (if you drop something under the passenger seat of a car, it falls into a black hole and is lost forever), and sometimes touching and sad (a reveling sequence involving gas station property damage forms). Tom Waits and Will Arnette make appearances, though Arnette once again just plays himself. Though the personal emptiness and depression that fill this world don't seem right for a romantic comedy, the mood is always kept light, and the story moves a long at an enjoyable pace.
Grindhouse
Just for showing us what happens when 2 extremely talented directors are given a pile of money and no limits. Excess does not equal quality, but it can sure come close when in the right hands.
Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem
For confirming that excess does not equal quality, especially when in the absolute wrong hands.
5. Juno
As with every other reviewer, I was completely charmed by this Sundance wonder. Sure, the dialog is suspiciously hip at times and the love subplot with Michael Cera feels a little light. But with rich, lovable characters rendered perfectly by the entire cast, it's hard to fault the small stuff. Ellen Page absolutely deserves her Oscar nomination. Allison Janney and Jennifer Garner were robbed.
4. Rocket Science
I'm psychic. Don't believe me? Here, I'll show you: right now, you're thinking "He's not psychic, and what the hell is Rocket Science?" Ha! Doubt my powers now!
Rocket Science was another festival favorite, lost in the wake left behind by Juno. While Juno is a delightful movie, Rocket Science felt more honest, and had a greater impact on me. The film concerns young Hal Hefner, a bright, shy high school student with a stuttering problem. One day a gorgeous, ambitious, and fiercely intelligent girl sits down next to him on the school bus, and in a few brilliant sentences, convinces him to join the debate team. It is obvious, to everyone, that she probably has some ulterior motive, but Hal follows her lead anyway. The movie has all the typical staples of a suburban indie comedy: quirky neighbors, dysfunctional family, "wacky" situations. But it also has a lot of realistically felt pain, the kind that can either make or break a person in their developing years. And while the ending starts to look like it's heading towards that same "everyone is happy in the end" destination where Juno landed, it makes a sharp turn back into reality. And that actually makes me happier.
3. Gone Baby Gone
Great performances, great direction and a great story. The only thing holding this film back is Michelle Monaghan's character. She was unnecessary, distracting, and her only purpose in this movie is to set up the film's ending. The rest of the movie is so great that this element just stood out like a sore thumb. Aside from her, the rest of the top-notch cast are in splendid form, especially the lesser known Amy Ryan and Titus Welliver.
2. Zodiac
A police procedural of the highest order. David Fincher's direction and meticulous attention to detail make the whole movie feel authentic, as though the audience were part of the investigation. This is not a movie about the characters, but about the process. We see all the red tape, dead ends and collateral damage involved in a high-profile murder case. Some complained about the pacing, but I have no problems with it. It slows down as the case slows down, and picks up when new details arrive. The whole movie feels real.
1. No Country For Old Men
By this point, there's nothing I can say about this that hasn't been said to death already. It absolutely deserves every awards it's been nominated for, and a lot more.
Honerable Mentions:
Wristcutters: A Love Story
If my list went higher, this would have been my #6. It's the first truly unique take on a romantic comedy I've seen since My Date With Drew. Patrick Fugit commits suicide, and finds himself in an afterlife that is just like this world...only a little worse. The sun never quite makes it all the way out from behind the clouds, grocery shelves are always half-stocked, and no one can smile. After running into an old friend, Fugit discovers that shortly after his own suicide, his girlfriend killed herself. Along with a strange Russian he meets in a bar, Fugit sets off on a road trip to locate his girlfriend. Along the way, they pick up a hitchhiking Shannyn Sossamon, who is on her own quest to find "the people in charge." She accidentally overdosed, and doesn't believe she's been sent to the correct afterlife.
The love story is sweet, and reminds us how great Shannyn Sossamon can be when she's not slumming in J-grade horror schlock. The small details of the strange suicide purgatory are often hilarious (if you drop something under the passenger seat of a car, it falls into a black hole and is lost forever), and sometimes touching and sad (a reveling sequence involving gas station property damage forms). Tom Waits and Will Arnette make appearances, though Arnette once again just plays himself. Though the personal emptiness and depression that fill this world don't seem right for a romantic comedy, the mood is always kept light, and the story moves a long at an enjoyable pace.
Grindhouse
Just for showing us what happens when 2 extremely talented directors are given a pile of money and no limits. Excess does not equal quality, but it can sure come close when in the right hands.
Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem
For confirming that excess does not equal quality, especially when in the absolute wrong hands.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Trailer Time: George A. Romero's Diary of the Dead
I just finished watching the new trailer for Diary of the Dead, and my first impression is that Romero has bad timing. You see, Diary of the Dead appears to be identical to the much-anticipated Cloverfield, but with zombies instead of a Godzilla-esque monster. Diary may well turn out to be a great Romero film, but it's destined to be labeled as a Cloverfield ripoff, or at least a cash-in on Cloverfield's inevitable success at the box office. Poor Romero, it never seems to all come together for him these days.
The movie itself looks just fine. It's a first-person, ground-level video document of a zombie outbreak. There is screaming, zombies, blood, and a whole lotta shaky-cam. I'll see it because I love zombies, and no one does zombies better than Romero. But if I've already seen Cloverfield by that time, it will hard to suppress the feeling that I've seen this all before. And that's too bad.
The movie itself looks just fine. It's a first-person, ground-level video document of a zombie outbreak. There is screaming, zombies, blood, and a whole lotta shaky-cam. I'll see it because I love zombies, and no one does zombies better than Romero. But if I've already seen Cloverfield by that time, it will hard to suppress the feeling that I've seen this all before. And that's too bad.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Aliens vs. Predator vs. U.S. Army vs. Sheriff vs. Teens vs. Audience
I saw AVP-R (yes, this is how the title appears in the opening credits of the movie [yes, we are that stupid as a society]). And I saw it on Christmas day. After giving the movie a few days to rattle around in the ol' noggin, I am ready to make this statement:
While I love my new GPS unit and Nintendo Wii games (and whether it was meant as a joke or not, my Dane Cook Collector's Hat is quite warm and comfortable), AVP-R was my favorite Christmas present this year.
Don't get confused by that statement. The movie is bad. Really bad. It's the kind of movie that gets rejected by Paul W.S. Anderson. So bad, that as I describe some of the film's details, I am probably going to have to make notes indicating that I am not making jokes. But oh man, it is a movie that knows exactly, with surgical precision, who its audience is. It is a fanboy film in the best and worse sense.
The entire film plays like the directors were holding a checklist of all the cool shit they ever wanted to see an Alien or a Predator do, and just started checking things off the list.
Acid-blood dissolving someone's face? Check.
Bad-ass, Rambo-style Predator? Check.
Bad-ass Predator/Alien hybrid? Check
Predator blowing 2 peoples' heads off at once? Check.
Predator punching an Alien in the face? Check.
Aliens killing babies? Check. (not a joke)
I was giddy for every last second of the film. I also laughed every time an effort was made to develop one of the human characters. Futility can just be so funny sometimes. In the end, I felt most connected to the hot blond girl, because she was hot and had a scene in her underwear. Also because she had the coolest-looking death. If you read that last sentence and wondered why I didn't preface it with a spoiler warning, you are clearly not the intended audience for this movie.
The "story" picks up right at the end of the first AVP "film." The Predalien (not a joke) kills the Predator spaceship crew, and the spaceship crashes in a small Colorado town. After a few encounters with humans, the town is now overrun by newly-birthed Aliens, led by the Predalien. Back on the Predator homeworld, a bounty hunter named Wolf (not a joke) is dispatched to kill the Aliens. Between the Aliens and Wolf, the town is pretty much leveled. It all climaxes with what is essentially a fistfight between Wolf and the Predalien. It's as deep as it sounds. (not a joke)
While I love my new GPS unit and Nintendo Wii games (and whether it was meant as a joke or not, my Dane Cook Collector's Hat is quite warm and comfortable), AVP-R was my favorite Christmas present this year.
Don't get confused by that statement. The movie is bad. Really bad. It's the kind of movie that gets rejected by Paul W.S. Anderson. So bad, that as I describe some of the film's details, I am probably going to have to make notes indicating that I am not making jokes. But oh man, it is a movie that knows exactly, with surgical precision, who its audience is. It is a fanboy film in the best and worse sense.
The entire film plays like the directors were holding a checklist of all the cool shit they ever wanted to see an Alien or a Predator do, and just started checking things off the list.
Acid-blood dissolving someone's face? Check.
Bad-ass, Rambo-style Predator? Check.
Bad-ass Predator/Alien hybrid? Check
Predator blowing 2 peoples' heads off at once? Check.
Predator punching an Alien in the face? Check.
Aliens killing babies? Check. (not a joke)
I was giddy for every last second of the film. I also laughed every time an effort was made to develop one of the human characters. Futility can just be so funny sometimes. In the end, I felt most connected to the hot blond girl, because she was hot and had a scene in her underwear. Also because she had the coolest-looking death. If you read that last sentence and wondered why I didn't preface it with a spoiler warning, you are clearly not the intended audience for this movie.
The "story" picks up right at the end of the first AVP "film." The Predalien (not a joke) kills the Predator spaceship crew, and the spaceship crashes in a small Colorado town. After a few encounters with humans, the town is now overrun by newly-birthed Aliens, led by the Predalien. Back on the Predator homeworld, a bounty hunter named Wolf (not a joke) is dispatched to kill the Aliens. Between the Aliens and Wolf, the town is pretty much leveled. It all climaxes with what is essentially a fistfight between Wolf and the Predalien. It's as deep as it sounds. (not a joke)
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Top 5 Movies I'm Embarrassed to Admit Enjoying
I won't make any excuses for liking these films, because I know in my heart that I have no excuse.
5. Message in a Bottle
4. Sphere
3. A Night at the Roxbury
2. Jason X (yes, the one in space)
1. The Rock*
*Were I to stop a man walking on the street and tell him that I enjoyed The Rock, there is a good chance that he would awkwardly say "So did I, now please let go of my arm." So why am I embarrassed? Because I consort with people whose cinematic palate is more refined. And in this circle, enjoying The Rock is like having cinematic herpes. And they would be right.
5. Message in a Bottle
4. Sphere
3. A Night at the Roxbury
2. Jason X (yes, the one in space)
1. The Rock*
*Were I to stop a man walking on the street and tell him that I enjoyed The Rock, there is a good chance that he would awkwardly say "So did I, now please let go of my arm." So why am I embarrassed? Because I consort with people whose cinematic palate is more refined. And in this circle, enjoying The Rock is like having cinematic herpes. And they would be right.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Rescue Dawn
I finally got around to watching this one, and I didn't care for it at all. The whole thing felt sloppy. Dieter is not well drawn as a character, and Bale is acting so eccentrically during the entire performance that it becomes hard to tell if the weird little quirks are being caused by his time in captivity or if Dieter is always like that. Steve Zahn does a great job, and I felt a better connection to his character. Too bad he's only around during the second act. Jeremy Davies continues to play Jeremy Davies in every film he's in, and I'm not a fan. Many of the reviews stated that the movie made the jungle seem so oppressive and horrible. I just didn't feel it. Platoon still ranks at the top of my list for making a jungle seem like Hell.
I hope Zahn gets some recognition in the upcoming awards season, but nothing else about this film made an impression on me.
I hope Zahn gets some recognition in the upcoming awards season, but nothing else about this film made an impression on me.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Top 5 Great Performances in Bad Movies
5. Michael Gough, Batman (1989); Batman Returns; Batman Forever; Batman & Robin
Throughout Burton and Schumacher's terrible franchise run, Michael Gough as Alfred was always a quiet presence illuminating every scene in which he appeared. He was soft-spoken and driven by his love of the Wayne family and its legacy. He always had dignity, even when the movie around him clearly had none of its own. It is a miracle of acting that Gough was able to keep a straight face as the movies continued to get louder and more ridiculous.
4. Charlize Theron, The Devil's Advocate
In a movie filled by Keanu Reeves' "acting," Connie Nielson at her most seductive, and ultimately climaxing with Al Pacino essentially screaming an entire conversation, Theron's great portrayal of a housewife that grows slowly insane gets lost in the shuffle. Feeling abandoned by her busy husband, Theron's character becomes increasingly bored and lonely. She wants a child, but can't seem to conceive (when she can even get the usually-absent Reeves to have sex with her, that is). She paints and re-paints the rooms of her apartment. She goes shopping with the shallow wives of Reeves' partners, and begins to have hallucinations. The visions get worse, as does her health. Her story does not end well, and is the highpoint of a movie that continues to run for another 45 minutes. Theron handles the character's breakdown fluidly, without any unbelievable jumps in behavior. She slowly gets worse and worse, until she's gone. Theron is an actress who has had many great roles, and in that context it is easy to see why no one ever notices this one (unless they are noticing the copious amount of nudity she has in this movie, including a full-frontal shot that is not what you expect it to be). But she is just as good in this film as she is in those others.
3. Christopher Walken, Suicide Kings
Let's face it, the only reason to watch this movie is to see Walken tied to a chair for 90 minutes. That he manages to still be a cunning and menacing presence despite having no mobility is a tribute to his skill. People tend to stigmatize Walken as always acting like Walken (Ebert uses the verb "Walkenizing"). This is growing increasingly true, though we should always remember what depths this man is capable of.
2. Johnny Depp, The Ninth Gate
In a Roman Polanski movie, you expect the star to give it their all. And that's exactly what Depp does. And he does this despite the fact the movie sucks. A lot. And goes nowhere. He plays an antique book collector who has a habit of falsely appraising peoples' collections, buying them at a low price, and selling them off for their real value. He is hired to track down a book which may hold the key to summoning the devil. In fact, the book may have been written by Satan himself. It doesn't end up mattering, 'cause the whole thing builds to an anti-climatic love scene (I'm just as surprised as you are to see that I'm referring to an Emmanuelle Seigner sex scene as 'anti-climactic'). But Depp brings his A-game, turning from low-key con man to the inadvertent savior of mankind in a seamless fashion.
1. Gabriel Byrne, End of Days
I've always had a problem with the way Satan gets portrayed on film. He's always a fiery demon or an intimidating man dressed in all black (sometimes with a black cane that has a skull on it) with a huge black beard and broadcasts his evil intentions with every word he speaks. So who in their right mind would ever sell their soul to someone like that, no matter what he promised? Which brings me to Gabriel Byrne in End of Days. The movie is terrible, save for Byrne. He plays Satan with seductive charm and charisma. Yes, you know he's Satan and that he is pure evil. But when he talks casually with Arnold Schwarzenegger (and how sad is it that my spellchecker actually knew the correct way to spell his name) about the hypocrisy of God, he makes some really good points (I still smile every time I hear him refer to the Bible as a press-kit). You find yourself wanting to believe him. And when Byrne does unleash the evil, he commands as much fear as he did charm. Few actors are capable of coming off convincingly as both warm and cold. Have you ever been able to take Morgan Freeman seriously as a villain? Byrne was a perfect choice, and he nails the role. Now if only everyone else involved in the movie had done the same...
Throughout Burton and Schumacher's terrible franchise run, Michael Gough as Alfred was always a quiet presence illuminating every scene in which he appeared. He was soft-spoken and driven by his love of the Wayne family and its legacy. He always had dignity, even when the movie around him clearly had none of its own. It is a miracle of acting that Gough was able to keep a straight face as the movies continued to get louder and more ridiculous.
4. Charlize Theron, The Devil's Advocate
In a movie filled by Keanu Reeves' "acting," Connie Nielson at her most seductive, and ultimately climaxing with Al Pacino essentially screaming an entire conversation, Theron's great portrayal of a housewife that grows slowly insane gets lost in the shuffle. Feeling abandoned by her busy husband, Theron's character becomes increasingly bored and lonely. She wants a child, but can't seem to conceive (when she can even get the usually-absent Reeves to have sex with her, that is). She paints and re-paints the rooms of her apartment. She goes shopping with the shallow wives of Reeves' partners, and begins to have hallucinations. The visions get worse, as does her health. Her story does not end well, and is the highpoint of a movie that continues to run for another 45 minutes. Theron handles the character's breakdown fluidly, without any unbelievable jumps in behavior. She slowly gets worse and worse, until she's gone. Theron is an actress who has had many great roles, and in that context it is easy to see why no one ever notices this one (unless they are noticing the copious amount of nudity she has in this movie, including a full-frontal shot that is not what you expect it to be). But she is just as good in this film as she is in those others.
3. Christopher Walken, Suicide Kings
Let's face it, the only reason to watch this movie is to see Walken tied to a chair for 90 minutes. That he manages to still be a cunning and menacing presence despite having no mobility is a tribute to his skill. People tend to stigmatize Walken as always acting like Walken (Ebert uses the verb "Walkenizing"). This is growing increasingly true, though we should always remember what depths this man is capable of.
2. Johnny Depp, The Ninth Gate
In a Roman Polanski movie, you expect the star to give it their all. And that's exactly what Depp does. And he does this despite the fact the movie sucks. A lot. And goes nowhere. He plays an antique book collector who has a habit of falsely appraising peoples' collections, buying them at a low price, and selling them off for their real value. He is hired to track down a book which may hold the key to summoning the devil. In fact, the book may have been written by Satan himself. It doesn't end up mattering, 'cause the whole thing builds to an anti-climatic love scene (I'm just as surprised as you are to see that I'm referring to an Emmanuelle Seigner sex scene as 'anti-climactic'). But Depp brings his A-game, turning from low-key con man to the inadvertent savior of mankind in a seamless fashion.
1. Gabriel Byrne, End of Days
I've always had a problem with the way Satan gets portrayed on film. He's always a fiery demon or an intimidating man dressed in all black (sometimes with a black cane that has a skull on it) with a huge black beard and broadcasts his evil intentions with every word he speaks. So who in their right mind would ever sell their soul to someone like that, no matter what he promised? Which brings me to Gabriel Byrne in End of Days. The movie is terrible, save for Byrne. He plays Satan with seductive charm and charisma. Yes, you know he's Satan and that he is pure evil. But when he talks casually with Arnold Schwarzenegger (and how sad is it that my spellchecker actually knew the correct way to spell his name) about the hypocrisy of God, he makes some really good points (I still smile every time I hear him refer to the Bible as a press-kit). You find yourself wanting to believe him. And when Byrne does unleash the evil, he commands as much fear as he did charm. Few actors are capable of coming off convincingly as both warm and cold. Have you ever been able to take Morgan Freeman seriously as a villain? Byrne was a perfect choice, and he nails the role. Now if only everyone else involved in the movie had done the same...
Lists are always fun
My fellow bloggist (sounds way better than "blogger," doesn't it?) Cinema Romantico has a near-consistent tradition of posting Top 5 lists every Friday in the weeks leading up to Christmas. I highly suggest you check out his lists, as he is a far more eloquent and passionate writer than I am. But if you prefer childish, sarcastic and mean-spirited writing, I will be blatantly stealing his idea and posting some of my own lists (though I may not adhere to his same schedule, because in addition to being a lesser writer, I am also far lazier and less motivated). I am now off to compose my first list, which will be posted later (laziness permitting).
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